A: They're always getting grounded!17. Hed heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! I Sweden my coffee when I drink it. And if not, then you can go brew a whole pot of decaf! I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. Lewis Black, 3. Sven said, "Ya, well I used to, but I really hate shoveling it all out. 43. Its hard to espresso my feelings for you. Barista: Sure what did you want? How did the hipster burn their mouth? Enjoy these funny jokes and puns about coffee while sipping some of your own. Espresso Patronum! Why did the cup of coffee lift the milk jug?That was strong coffeeHow do you make beef jerky?Give it a cup of joe.What do brave coffee grounds do?They take the plungerWhat kind of coffee likes to race?Instant from an espresso machine.What did the Italian guy say when he was teased?Dont mocha me!What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together?A happy cup-ple.Why cant cups of coffee go to Hogwarts?Theyre mugglesWhy didnt the espresso ever talk to the herbal drinks?Because it said they werent his cup of tea.What do cups of coffee say when they see a friend?How are you doing percolately?What do you call it when an angry man yells about mixing Gatorade with espresso?TiradeWhy did the cup of coffee always complain?He was just bitterWhat do you call coffee with sunglasses and tattoos?Cool beans. I drink so much coffee at work, I consider it part of my daily grind. I do some of my best thinking about coffee. What did the coffee lover name her son? Nothing beats a nice cup of coffee for starting the day so heres a list of hilarious coffee jokes that you might enjoy. 11. Cap. What's the opposite of coffee? Because they are a perfect blend for your morning coffee. Because they know how to espresso themselves. 1. It doesnt matter where youre from or how you feeltheres always peace in a strong cup of coffee. Gabriel B, 25. What did the coffee addict say to his doctor? ', He throw's his cruiser in gear, calls it in on the radio and immediately pulls the penguin stuffed vehicle over. The Best Coffee Jokes: Funny Coffee Jokes and Coffee Puns Here are various one liners about coffee that you can use to impress your friends and family. Even when a pun isnt that funny, the fun is in groaning at it together! Who is there? It has a lot of perks. Rise and grind! If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln. Why dont snakes drink java? It's expensive and bitter.15. Knock! Funniest Coffee Jokes | Funny Coffee Puns & One-Liners - Ranker She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind. What did the coffees say before their night out? Why are Italians so good at making coffee? CoffeeGood day? A: To the NESTcafe25. They all seem perplexed about this occurrence. Barista: A latte? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. 8. Music is a gold mine when youre looking for puns. It was instant. 18 Excellent Jokes About Coffee - BuzzFeed . A guy walks into a cafe and orders a coffee to go The coffee gets up and leaves. What did the coffee addict say to his doctor? People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning Why was the man always worried about a cup of coffee that cost just 5 cents? Mugging! He was SO bad that the Devil met him personally, shook his hand and said, Meets Satan at the door Satan reminds him hes been an evil person. Why are Italians so good at making coffee? 16. 1. Shell get her daily cup of coffee through whatever beans necessary. De-calf-inated.23. Whats the best Beatles song? Even famous names can be fun to play with if you love a good coffee pun. Because a customer told the barista it was bitter. Give them some coffee. What did the coffee lovernameher son? 40 Coffee Jokes & Puns That Will Surely Perk You Up So, if you like coffee and want to brighten up your day (or your humor), youve come to the perfect place. Why was everyone getting sick at the coffee shop? What competition do the best coffee makers try to win? Personally, I prefer to French press. When shes not writing you can find her watching the latest and greatest movies, listening to a true-crime podcast (or two), blasting 90s music and hiking with her dog, Ryker, throughout the Finger Lakes. Barista: How do you take your coffee? They are both great ways to start the morning. Wordplay is a fun form of humor that anyone can join in with, and it can even be fun while learning a new language. What do you call the first level of a coffee factory? Lifes too short for bad coffee. Gord Downie, 11. He takes him to the second room, and its full of people sitting in an 18-inch deep layer of shit, drinking coffee. He installs Java! Why did the coffeeshop close for the day? At the counter he says, Ill take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road., A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. 119 Funny Coffee Puns to Get You Through the Day If theres one coffee pun that any coffee lover should know, its this one: When I am asked, How do you take your coffee? I reply, Seriously, very, very seriously!. The puns youre going to read are clean as well as humorous. One is naughty, the other is not tea. After 15 minutes I realized I forgot my car. The powers of a mans mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks. Sir James Mackintosh, 37. Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt. They kept showing up to work in a tea-shirt. Even people who groan at them secretly think that theyre funny. What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? There is a time and a place for decaf coffee 43. 55. This coffee is not nearly as hot.. About to grab yourself a cup of brewed goodness? Whats its favorite Bob Marley song? "Coffee is a language itself." Jackie Chan 2. 17. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Owl Jokes for a Hooting Good Time, 155 Hilarious Bread Jokes That Will Have You Cracking Up, 157 Hilarious Goat Jokes Sure to Make You Laugh, 150 Hilarious Karen Jokes That Will Crack Your Ribs. 50+ Funny Coffee Jokes, Puns & One Liners! | LaffGaff Youre mocha me crazy! They shouted. A man at a restaurant was annoyed that the waiter hadnt brought a spoon for his coffee, so at the top of his voice, and so the other patrons could hear, he states This coffee is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers. They only drink De-calf-inated coffee. Because he was pressed for time. Drinking too much espresso can cause a latte problems. I have a problem without it! May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. Unknown, 49. Raw raw raw raw raw. What do beans say to their Valentines? I made a pot of coffee, espresso-ly for you. Dawn who? 60+ Fun Coffee Puns That Will Make You Smile - PsyCat Games 1. When do mechanics drink coffee? She says, This is your lucky night. Whats a baristas favorite morning mantra? As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. I just got myself a top-of-the-range coffee maker. Why do I not like hot drinks? Hit Me With your Best Shot! Why did the two pots get in trouble at school? What do you call it when a coffee joke is so funny that it causes an uproar? Whats the opposite of coffee? Dj brew. Theyre always getting roasted. What's the opposite of coffee? Some are a fan of black coffee, while some cant seem to get enough of the creamy and frothy cappuccino. I didnt choose the mug life, the mug life chose me. 80. He installs Java! Better latte than never! - the tendency to not start anything until you've had your coffee. The wife responds: "The Bible.". 26. Funny Jokes 110+ Coffee Jokes for Caffeine Lovers (LOL) By January Nelson Updated July 13, 2021 taylor hernandez Table of Contents There's nothing better than a nice, warm cup of coffee to start your day. After the French Revolution, Kings and Queens started only drinking decap coffee. What did the coffee lover name her son? What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? Where do birds go for coffee? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Barista: How do you take your coffee? Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. There are a few coffee brew jokes that no one else knows (and will make you laugh out loud). I cant espresso my love for you. A bad cup of coffee can be considered grounds for divorce. 50 Funny Coffee Jokes That'll Make Your Day - Coffeenatics Where have you bean all my life? Jokes & Zingers All Coffee Drinkers Will Find Funny - Cool Dump Now everyone waves at me. A man walks into a Starbucks carrying a big chunk of asphalt under his arm. I think if I were a woman, Id wear coffee as a perfume. John William Van Druten. Because he was mugged! Lets stir up some trouble! 15 Tea Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Then Turn The Kettle On - BuzzFeed I was reading a book about the origin of cappuccino but it was all froth and no substance. While this man was not a really bad man, neither was he particularly good and St. Peter sends him down to hell. He asks the barista, "How much for a cup of coffee?" A: Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.13. I tend to have a latte on my mind. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen. Gary Larson, 59. 28 Hilarious Coffee Jokes & Puns For Coffee Lovers Hebrews it. Decoffinated. What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga use in her coffee? 4. 30. Here are 50 funny coffee jokes that will make your day brighter: You may have a different sense of humor compared to other people, but there will surely be some coffee jokes that can crack you up. The subject of the lottery and what they would do if they won came up. I really should move that mirror. Dive in! What do beans say to their Valentines? Employee: Your name please. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? Whats the best Beatles song to play at a coffee shop? Q: Why do they call coffee mud? What happens if you touch Dads coffee? Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago. Why did the espresso keep checking his watch? Because he came to work wearing a tea-shirt. Youll be grounded! Heres the Definitive Guide for 2023, How to Use a Moka Pot (Step-by-Step Instructions), Death Wish Coffee Review: Do Not Drink (Before You Read This), 119 Funny Coffee Puns to Get You Through the Day. I dont want you starting anything in here.. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. Break fluid. Where do birds go for coffee? 3. Take a look at them below. Coffee is the most common beverage that most people like in the morning. I just bring him some coffee.I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.I drank it and left my house to go to work. What did the barista call her face mask? First astronaut: "Hey, I can't find any milk for my coffee." Second astronaut: "In space, no one can. You will go trhough one of them and stay there for eternity'', A father put his 3-year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God. A brewhaha. 64. I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I dont want to hear about your troubles. Charles Bukowski, 57. Dja-brew. Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? They check out the different options. I was drinking coffee in my snow boots this morning when I thought to myself, "I need to get a mug."12. Knock! The hipster burned his tongue. Because it was mugged. How is divorce like an Espresso? How do you put an odd number of sugar cubes in each one, making sure to use all 16 sugar cubes? What should a father say to his daughter every day? #10 Steal coffee They drank their coffee before it was cool. Mugging. A protestant minister, a Catholic Priest, and a Rabbi were in a coffee shop arguing about whose religion is best. Hold on, I think I've been to this coffee shop before: I'm getting deja-brew! Whats it called when you steal someones joe? Working at Starbucks has lots of perks. What did the new Starbucks employee say after her first month? When he arrives, he meets the devil, standing in front of three doors. Because it was mugged. Seriously!Wake me up before you cocoa!What did the coffees say before their night out? I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car. 25. How does one bad cup of coffee end a marriage? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 8 Dating App Red Flag Phrases That Are Surprisingly Toxic Translated, May 2020 Be The Year You Decide To Create Your Own Beauty, The Best Dating Sites and Apps: Complete List of the Top Online Dating Platforms, What Its Like To Live With Chronic Migraines, After Years Of Acne, My Skin Is Finally Glowing Thanks To These 3 Products. If youre a barista, coffee aficionado, or a caffeine addict, youll love these funny jokes about coffee. 67. We hope that reading this article of coffee jokes was a true value of your time. This amusing collection of friendly and delicious I like my coffee jokes, riddles, and puns are suitable for all ages. TheFrench press. We're meant to bean together!35. Despresso. Why did the rabbit stop drinking coffee? I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I found very few sites that dealt with the humor of coffee drinkers. Nothing starts the day off like a hot cup of coffee, except maybe a list of jokes about a hot cup of coffee! What's the technical name for a pot of coffee at work? Police say that although it came as a shock to all who knew him, they may take some relief from the fact he didnt suffer. We used to assign punishments to the damned that fit their sins, but now we're letting people choose themselves. What do you call a couple of coffee bullies? Vote up your favorite jokes about coffee, and if youve got a joke you think we havent heard, then brew one up for us in the comments. Me: Very, very seriously.3. Because according to the Torah, He Brews! How is divorce like espresso? I just bring him some coffee. He was worried that it might be a very cheap shot! 42. Dont Worry, Be Frapp. It was instant. Knock! Why did it take the bean so long to do its homework? 3.) You can carry a few in your back pocket to impress or cheer someone up when the occasion arises. Hipsters How did the hipster burn their mouth? Wool who? Cream and Sugar. I went to the coffee shop and asked the barista how much a cup of coffee was. 68 Coffee Jokes - The Only List You Need To Mocha People Laugh! Its never too late for a coffee. If this is decaf, we're gonna have a latte problems. How do you know if you've had enough coffee? The 60+ Best Drinking Coffee Jokes - UPJOKE Drink Jokes - Puns And One Liners Coffee: creative lighter fluid. Floyd Maxwell, 50. Join The Coffee Lab Newsletter to get first access to the best coffee (right now). Drink coffee! Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? It said, Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me!. The following is a list of good coffee jokes. 1. 80+ Jokes About Coffee That Will Perk Up Your Morning
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